I’ve never had many friends. It has a lot to do with the fact that I’m an introvert. But, as a Mom, it would be nice to have other Mom friends to bounce ideas, vents, thoughts, etc. off of.
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Friends From Before I Was a Mom
I’ve got two folks in my life that I call my best friends. They both live in different states and I haven’t seen either one in at least three years. We usually only talk on the phone about once a year now.
But, they’re still my best friends. You know, the kind of people you can pick back up with after a year, like you’ve never missed a beat. They’re great!
But, life gets busy and you just don’t have time to check in with folks that live so far away and lead different lifestyles. It doesn’t make them any less friends – I still enjoy my time catching up with them.
Still, it’s nice to have local friends who can pop out to the store with you, grab lunch some days, and even better, meet up for a play date with all the kids.
Making Mom Friends
Motherhood is a lonely job. It’s also mentally and physically exhausting, but I don’t have to tell you that. You probably feel like you don’t have the time or energy to meet a friend, let alone continue that friendship.
And, making friends as a Mom can be hard, too. Chances are, you’ve set yourself up with this criteria that they need:
- to have the same number of kids as you,
- kids with the same ages and genders,
- kids on the same nap schedule,
- around your age, and
- still have similar interests to you.
- A five-mile radius helps, too.
It’s a lot like online dating, but for Mom friends.
Forget the Criteria
In an ideal world, you’ll meet a Mom friend that ticks all your boxes. But, chances are, if your kids aren’t in school yet, your pickings are slim.
The most important step in making Mom friends is to forget the stigmas and throw your predefined criteria out the window.
They don’t need to have the same number of kids as you.
The more comfortable you get with your friend, the easier it will be to divide and conquer during play dates anyway.
Your kids will play together regardless of age or gender.
Kids don’t see demographics like that. They just see someone to play with.
Schedule’s don’t have to line up.
While a matching nap schedule would be awesome, your potential new Mom friend’s schedule will rarely line up with yours. If her kids nap in the morning and your kids nap in the afternoon, plan to meet up after dinner for a play date.
Or, rather, leave the kids with Hubs and meet up with each other at Target or Hobby Lobby or wherever you like to shop.
Your new Mom friend doesn’t have to be around your age.
You’re both Mom’s, that’s your comparative factor. I had #1 later in life and most Mom’s with a three-year-old at home seem to be much younger than me. Not a big deal, though, because we bond over the similarities of Momming.
And a Mom with older kids will be able to offer up help and advice when you need it most.
Making any friend works better when you have similar interests.
So, rather than hunting out a friend to match your child’s needs of a play mate, hunt out a friend that meets your needs. Someone that laughs at the same jokes, is interesting in similar topics.
But, keep in mind that those with alternative viewpoints can be great friends too, because they’ll open you up to new adventures and knowledge.
The radius criteria might be the only one to hold fast to.
Obviously, you can stretch at the five-mile count, but you’ll still want someone close and not state’s away. Unless you’re cool with a FaceTime Mom friendship, in which case, problem solved.
So Where Do I Make Mom Friends?
Good question! And, your options are pretty limitless.
Making Mom Friends at the Store
We’ve all been there. Our child is fixated on the toy aisle and we just can’t seem to escape. Suddenly, you see another Mom stuck in the same boat. And if your kids are checking out the same toys, it’s the perfect time to strike up conversation.
You might not hit it off and that’s fine, you can just walk away. Maybe you leave without getting each other’s contact info., but when you run into each other again, you’ll be more likely to exchange details.
Meet Mom’s at the Library/Playground
The same situation goes for the library and playground. Watching your child play is fulfilling, but it can get boring. If there’s another Mom hanging around, it’s a prime opportunity to make a friend.
Go to Church
The only Mom friends I have in the town we live in are from church. They are awesome women that raise their children similarly to me. Our kids are around the same age and get to interact whenever we make it to Sunday’s service or play group.
We share local deals and events with each other, but aren’t connected at the hip. Just how I like my friendships.
What If I’m Nervous?
Making friends is nerve wracking. If your anxiety is piqued and you need to take baby steps, do that. Ease yourself in by interacting with other Mom’s on social media.
Join Facebook Groups
A simple search on Facebook will give you loads of options for Mom groups in your area. Whether or not you become physically active in the group is up to you. But, having that social support online is always a bonus.
Get on Twitter
The biggest, most supportive Mom network I’ve come across is on Twitter. A simple search for #momlife or any parenting blogger will open you up to a world of other parent’s, ready to share advice and laughs.
Throw out the criteria of being identical as Mom’s. Find a friend that has your interests and one you would’ve been friends with before you had children.
You Can Do This!
Making Mom friends really is like dating. Think about how many first dates you went on before you found The One. Same goes for friendship. You may like a Mom one day and hate her the next. That’s okay.
There are lots of Mom fish in the sea!
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